Crawling Out of My Skin

If my family were allowed to write on this blog, they would tell you that I am less agreeable today than most other days. I feel a bit frazzled and stressed. I'm snippy and impatient. I feel a little sorry for them but mostly I feel sorry for myself. Afterall, I am the person who WANTS TO CRAWL OUT OF HER SKIN! And yes, this is PMS week. So, I am looking forward to next week when I might feel better. My family meanwhile is looking forward to my lobotomy.

I did finally see the endocrinologist today for my lab results. Everything was normal except for my testosterone level. It was zero. One website I looked at says women should be between 15-70. Why is testosterone important? In the right amount, it provides energy, faster metabolism, the ability to build muscle, a general sense of well-being, and sex drive. If Hubs. was writing this, he would have placed sex drive first in the list. He would probably write it in ALL CAPS too. I don't think he was surprised to hear that my blood level was nada. Anyway, beginning tomorrow morning, I will dissolve a tiny testosterone tablet on my tongue. I wonder if I'll be in lingerie tomorrow night? Nah, I don't want to disrupt the status quo. We need to save up our romantic energy for Friday night when we will be celebrating our 14th anniversary.

On a completely different topic, I saw this organization idea for gloves, hats, & scarves, and I actually went to Walmart, purchased one, brought it home, and SET IT UP! This is a big deal. Usually I am full of good intentions and no follow through. Additionally, I purchased a Crock-Pot and have a meal cooking right now! Imagine what I will be capable of once my testerone is above zero. Woo- Hoo!

There's No Place Like Home

Finally, we have returned home after 3 1/2 days with my parents helping out after Dad's surgery. Everything went very well and we enjoyed a relaxing time out in the country. The dogs destroyed coleus and flowers but there weren't any skunks this time - yea! No skunk smell in the car all the way home! One of the cows had a calf the day before we arrived, so we had fun going out each evening to check on them. Drew discovered the joys of intense sunlight, a magnifying glass, and some scrap 2 x 4. Even the intense mid-day heat couldn't keep him from sitting outside burning his name or chasing ants. I made full use of the kitchen and succeeded in keeping everyone fed. The worst thing about this trip was the heat. It was above 100 everyday!

Grrr

You have been forewarned. I am cranky today. More like CRANKYYYYYYYYY. I stopped taking birth control 2 days ago because I had suspicions it was making me tired and nauseous. Confirming my suspicions, I oozed with energy and greatness yesterday. Today, I am going through serious estrogen withdrawal. All of my weird body aches have returned as well...achy back, terrible achiness in my left wrist, and my super tense neck muscles. My family is frightened despite my apologies and attempts at calm responses. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I can start taking it again and be tired, nauseous but calm mommy. Or I can try to tough it out for another week before I go to the endocrinologist and get started with a program to straighten this mess out. (I had an appt. for tomorrow but had to reschedule due to Dad's shoulder surgery.) I think I'm going to get back on it. Otherwise, I'll be a real bear with my parents while I am helping out as Dad recuperates from surgery. I wish I didn't have to wait to get those results.

Meanwhile, I am in the midst of laundry and packing for our stay with Mom and Dad. We leave tonight after rush hour diminishes. I don't have any expectations other than Mom warned me that Dad is a whiny patient...maybe that is where I get it from. I'm worried about staying on my South Beach eating plan and keeping Drew quietly entertained. He is so used to us going out on the boat. I just don't know how he will do without that activity.

I cooked Tilapia yesterday on my George Foreman grill, and it turned out beautiful. It was super simple. I squeezed lemon juice and then sprinkled the fish with Weber Grill Creations Zesty Lemon Seasoning. It took 2-3 minutes to cook, and I was ready to eat. Yum-yum.

Taking a risk

So, it's been over a year since I have posted anything. Honestly, once school started up, I didn't have time to breathe much less write a blog. And, I got a little stressed and overwhelmed trying to think up stuff to write. But that's silly. This is my space and it's all for me. I can write when I want and set it on the shelf when I am too busy.

It seems like years since I was inspired to dream. I think that my greatest aspiration was to marry and give birth. Once I accomplished those two goals, I was left in la-la-limbo-land. Recently through the world of blogs I have discovered little wishes bubbling up. Thanks to the amazingly creative Nester, I want to redo my nest. I also want to expand my cooking menu beyond meatloaf, tacos, spaghetti and lasagna. So, I've been spending time at A Year of CrockPotting. I haven't tried any of her recipes yet, but it does motivate me to gather up some courage and take a risk.

Risk taking. As a child, I took risks all the time and rarely considered possible outcomes. I saw a tree and knew that I could climb it. I looked at the high dive and never doubted I could leap off of it with everyone watching. But somewhere along the way, after falling from trees and enduring painful belly-flops, I stopped taking risks. After all, it's safer to stay on the ground or sit with my feet in the pool. Guess what...it's also safely BORING! And boring can be okay too, but after several years it's time for me to shake things up a bit. Because you never get to experience the bird's eye view or the tiny thrill of falling through the air, if you always play it safe.